Direction

DIRECTION

I am still mostly an introvert. I don’t like being around large sums of people unless those people are ones that I’m familiar and comfortable with. Many of my friends urge me to come out of that antisocial shell in which I hide. Though, I have my reasons as to why I choose to keep to myself. I don’t trust people that I don’t know. I hardly trust the ones that I do. My mind is constantly focused on what to do in order to take the next forward step in life. Most people that I meet are content with where they are. No, that doesn’t make them bad people, but it does make those people hazardous to my life. Contentment can kill you. If it doesn’t kill you, it can definitely make you homeless, leave you scrounging from other people, or just lacking in life. I want the abundance of what life has to offer, therefore, I keep my distance from those content people. I befriend people who compliment me and my ambitions as was as have ambitions of their own.

Honestly, I was about to set my ambitions on cruise control. I was surrounded by content people. I’m not blaming them, but contentment is contagious. I could have used better judgment and separated myself, but I was in a totally different world than the one that I’m in now. Nothing was coming to me, and things were constantly being taken away. God has awesome ways of opening eyes and telling people to keep going, or to “tighten up”. He placed in my path; direction and encouragement to reach for heaven in everything that I do. I took heed and, now, can see things coming together slowly. I love seeing things come together. It gives me the motivation to keep doing whatever I need to do to get to where I want to be. I’M ON IT!! All in due time, I’ll be there and I’m taking a few people with me because they are a part of the direction and encouragement that has been placed in my path. Surround yourself with people who strive for excellence and who make forward progress in life.

SHOUTS OUT TO TEP!!

Side Chick Syndrome

SIDE CHICK SYNDROME

Many women talk about wanting a good man, or a real man. In actuality, they don’t. That’s what her mouth says, but her actions (mind; because it controls your actions) show differently. Some of them are overly promiscuous with no self esteem, confidence, or self-strength. Now you tell me: what man wants that shit? Then, when that woman gets lucky and stumbles upon a good man, or a real man, they have sex with him the first chance they get. My mom always told the women that I brought home, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” That makes perfect sense too. Very rarely will a man actually be in a committed relationship with a woman that he slept with after knowing her for a short period of time. What makes a woman so quick to give up the goods to a man of any caliber; good, bad, or whatever? I think that some women think that all men love sex. We do, but damn, make it a challenge to achieve. Why do you think we play madden on the “All-Madden” level? It makes the game interesting and fun. Easy is so boring, and if we get it quickly, we men will only call you when we need you; making you the side chick. Ladies, be aware of the symptoms of Side Chick Syndrome, or SDS. If you don’t know the symptoms, here is a list of a few:

· Promiscuousness

· Low self esteem

· The tendency to be “the gullible chick”

· Nonchalant attitude about life and yourself

· The ability to make yourself available after 11pm of any day of the week

· The urge to be with a man who, you know, has a woman (He is NOT going to leave his woman for you.)

· The tendency to become agitated with this blog (that includes thinking that I’m bogus, knowing that this is completely true.)

· Thinking that this message is a joke

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, stop everything that you are doing immediately, find a mirror, look in it, and stare at yourself until you love yourself and realize how beautiful you are. All women are beautiful. God couldn’t have put anything more precious on this earth. Some of you are just distraught about life and have experienced tough times through it. I understand, however, I cannot and will not respect your actions if you suffer from SCS. IT IS CURABLE!

God in Lori

GOD IN LORI

You should see us sleeping at night. I look like a ten-year-old boy the way I embrace her so closely and tightly like she’s a teddy bear that holds me as well. Those are the times that everything feels so calm, and I thank God for her right in that very moment. I get so emotional talking about her at times because I never really thought that I could feel so strongly about anything. I love my daughter far more than words could explain, and far more than I could ever love any other woman. She is my whole world and sanity. She’s the only thing that makes me believe that everything will be alright. When my world is jumbled or scattered abroad, I just look into her eyes and suddenly, everything morphs to its normal phase, and my world comes back to one piece. I remember writing a poem called “God’s Eyes”. I think God personally read that poem because I find peace every time I look into my daughter’s eyes. I thank God for answering prayers. So you ask me, “What’s your motivation?” I can, without a doubt, say to you that Lori is my motivation. She has truly changed my outlook on life, and I live for her brighter future.

GOD’S EYES

I wish that I could see God’s eyes.

Only his eyes.

Not his face, nor his body; just the eyes.

Then maybe that would stop the pain I feel deep inside,

Deep inside my heart and deep inside my mind.

It’s sad.

I live days meaninglessly and watch time fly,

And as every minute flies by, I contemplate suicide.

I can’t hear my voice of reason and I don’t know my reason for being,

So who would care if I lived or died?

And if everyone has their own reason for being, then what’s mine?

I’ve grown so accustomed to grieving that I can no longer cry,

Because once my well runs dry, every bit of stress that I feel will still be alive.

I just want to see God’s eyes.

So that they can reveal answers to just a few of my “whys”.

Then maybe I can be what He sees in me.

Because life is so vague and the light is so dim,

And I can’t see which direction I’m going in.

I know it’s not right.

So it has to be left.

It’s not straight and lefts not right……

I turned somewhere along life’s journey and what I needed most, I left.

So I’m wandering alone,

Knowing I need it, but too stubborn to ask for help.

And if I’m not mistaken, God told me that he was always behind me just one step.

But I’m so confused and I don’t know what I’m missing; whether it’s love, a friend, or something else.

I’m lost in my own mind,

A one-roomed room.

And if I can’t find my way around in here, then I’m my own doom.

And I don’t want to forever live in disguise.

My smile and laughter are both temporary…..

I call them lies.

And I hide behind them to seal these thoughts and feelings from my mind.

Because in the late hour, when I’m all alone,

All of the gloom and sorrows come alive.

And I don’t want to dwell in this dreaded place,

So I just need to see God’s eyes.

Then just maybe they can show me the order to these scattered puzzle pieces of my life.

Lorenzo Wesley, Jr.

Copyright ©2009 Lorenzo Wesley, Jr.

A Poet

A Poet

I see visions, and speak sharp words,

Make smooth incisions, and speak obscured,

With words ragged, I leak all words,

With words jagged, I make words heard,

I plant seeds, I speak words blunt,

May YANK strings, when I speak up front,

See minds travel, as my ink runs,

See thoughts babble, when I speak undone,

May speak wrong expressions, worried loved ones,

Read of my depressions, twiddling their thumbs,

Poetry mind hidden, with awkward life actions,

See ears listen, to my pen's distractions,

Catch words glisten, from my pen's transactions,

Feel words written, of my mind's entrapment,

I see visions, and speak sharp words,

Make smooth incisions, and speak obscured,

I plant seeds, I speak words blunt,

May YANK strings, when I speak undone.

Lorenzo Wesley, Jr.

Copyright ©2009 Lorenzo Wesley, Jr.

Gullible Chick

GULLBILE CHICK

I absolutely cannot stand for a woman to be gullible and easily influenced. That’s not sexy in any shape, form, or fashion. What man can honestly say that he truly adores a woman who feeds off of his every word, and does anything and everything he says? That’s a major turn-off to me. Ladies, have your own minds and opinions. Men respect that. Also, speaking your mind, women, instills the fear of God in a man. Lots of times men find that intimidating. That’s their problem, though, and if they are intimidated, that is not the one. Don’t be a man’s easy way out; the gullible chick. Gullible chicks are so quick to say, “Yes” or, “Ok”. Shit, tell a man, “No”! I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about certain rejections that keeps a man coming back. Don’t get me wrong, though. It’s all in the body language. You know; say “no”, but you really mean “yes”. In a nutshell, it’s like this; the quicker a man can get your companionship and whatever else he wants from you, the quicker he will leave you. Women, you are precious and beautiful beings. Make a man work to get your company. It’s less likely that he would dip out on you considering the fact that he has put in so much work getting to know you. The time he puts in will bring respect, and if a man respects you, it’s golden. Because of his respect for you, his pride would rarely let him do things to ruin anything that he has built. Also, be warned! Some men are careless and are flat out “dogs”. They’ll come around with coaxing dialect, telling you everything you want to hear. Just be discerning and know that if it seems too good to be real, it probably is. No man is perfect. All of us make mistakes. Having your own mind and not needing to feed off of a man’s every word exudes you confidence, and that’s super sexy.

BOOK COMING SOON!!!! WEBSITE COMING SOONER!!!

That's Life

THAT'S LIFE

There’s nothing like coming home to your own home and your own family. There’s nothing like going in your own fridge, when you get home from work, and getting your own beer. Then, you sit in your own rocking recliner and watch the NFL network on your own 50 inch high definition plasma TV. Running around with random women every night and day runs out. That played out with me a long, long time ago. However, I think I probably should have waited a little longer to be settled, committed, and married. Not because I wasn’t ready, but because my wife might not have been ready for that type of commitment. Time revealed that she wasn’t. She probably still isn’t, but we’re kind of working on that. Don’t get me wrong, though, we both made mistakes. It’s just up to us if we want to correct them. We also have to be ready and willing to deal with everything that’s going to come with life-time commitment; including the hurt and pain we may go through. Love is supposed to hurt sometimes though; just like exercising. That’s how you know it’s working. Also, love is patient. LOVE is patient; I’m not. That has been an issue that I’ve been dealing with since birth. I’m actually just now, at age 27, kind of getting used to rolling with the punches. I like to make things happen. Life is fast anyway. There’s no need to rush it. I’m blessed and I know that everything I want and everything that I’m supposed to have, I will have. I just have to stay focused and head-strong in my ambitions. That’s life, though. We go through trials to become better people. Faith in God and confidence within you is the key.

MY BOOK IS COMING SOON!!